The One With The Box

So I packed my first box for New York today. I had a few things in Houston I wanted to take. I'm headed back to LA on the 10th so I figured I'd get it ready before then, knowing I won't be back.

Starting the packing process is always really interesting to me because it's as official a starting of a new era as you have in life. Whenever you move, the second you start to pack, you know things are about to change. I remember packing for LA at this exact time last year and it's amazing to me how much things have changed since them. Some of the things I packed today include books on writing, some other fiction books, dress clothes, and a few small mementos that hold significance to me. It remains to be seen if those things will ever make it back to my little room in Sugar Land once they leave.

It's interesting to me how my excitement about my move from New York differs from how my excitement was last year when I moved to LA. The thing that, more than anything else, excited me about the move last year was the fear of the unknown. I knew that I did not know a single person in LA. I was also leaving my safety net for the first time. It was fear mixed with nervousness mixed with curiousity mixed with doubt mixed with excitement. I knew that I'd really learn about myself and what I'm made of.

With New York, the fear is gone. I already will know several people in New York the second my feet hit Manhattan ground including two people who I'm pretty close with. In LA, I knew I'd be alone from day one and that I had to create a life for myself from scratch. That aspect doesn't exist with New York.

I'm also not new to life-changing moves anymore. I've done it already. I already packed everything up and left once (I don't classify Austin or Dallas as life-changing moves). Last year when I did it, I was scared. Now, I'm confident I can do it again. And so that part doesn't exist either.

But there are new things to be excited about with New York.

First off, the artistic influences I'll be surrounded by. I feel like I will grow as an artist in the city due to the people I'll be surrounded by, as well as the inspirational nature of the city.

The allure of New York City also is something that LA didn't have. LA seemed like a cool city before I moved last year, and it proved to be so, but LA never had the raw punch that New York City has. New York City has a glamour and aura all its own. The fact that I won't have a car, the fact that I will rely on public transportation for the first time in my life, the fact that I'll be living in what is basically the center of the world, the fact that I'll be in a pedestrian dominated place for the first time in my life, the fact that I'll be somewhere that actually has seasons for the first time ever, it all gets me excited. The tough image that New York has also has me excited. They say that if you can make it in New York, you can make it anywhere. And I always like to think I can make it anywhere. I'll be living with roommates for the first time since my freshman year in college, I have so many plans and goals for New York. All these aspects differ from when I went to LA.

In many ways, I went to LA confused. I wasn't sure who I was and what I was doing. A year later, I feel like I have a much better grasp on who I am as a person and what I'm capable of. Because of that, I feel like New York will offer me a stage to get a lot done. I'm much more focused now on a variety of things, everything from writing and business to volunteering and politics. My interests are so diverse now and a city like New York will give me a lot of opportunities in a somewhat confined area, things LA didn't offer me.

I also have a sureness with New York that I didn't have with LA. Before I went to LA, I was filled with a lot of doubt. I wasn't sure if I should go. I wasn't sure if I knew what I was doing. A year later, I'm so glad I went, but before I went, I wasn't sure. With New York, I'm sure I want to go. I'm sure I should go. I'm sure that right now, I'm meant to go to New York. That sureness in and of itself has me more excited about New York than any other factor.

So yeah, the first box is packed. Next time I see the Bag of Love, the Tomahawk, my Eternal Sunshine screenplay, and the other things in the box will be in my NEW apartment in NEW YORK!